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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]Honest question: is there a grandparent on the board who can explain why so many grandparents seem to be really really interested in spending time alone with the baby?  I have always wondered about this phenomenon.  Why does having mom or dad there interfere?  [/quote]

I don't have these kinds of issues because I love how much my mom and dad love my LO. Its amazing to watch and I like to learn as much as I can from other generations of women or parents. Even stuff that is outdated or we don't do anymore is interesting to at least learn about. I don't mean that to sound smug. I am both lucky to have supportive family relationships and work to understand and resolve differences.

BUT according to my mom and my stepdad- who also had his first grandchild at the same time (he considers my LO his grandchild too but its a little different with his own daughter- rightly, he wasn't married to my mom until I was an adult, he didn't raise me)- they both have said that the sort of instant intense loving bond that you get as a parent, you have the same feelings when your grandkids are born.

I can't picture it, but I am not a grandparent! My own mom actually said she was surprised to have that feeling. When her friends told her it would feel the same, she thought there was no way to have that kind of feeling about them as you do your own. But then said that they were right once LO was here.

So that's part of the excitement I think!

Also OP, try to take a breath and examine if you are taking their comments as more demanding because you are in that little cocoon of new motherhood where every single focus is on baby and your drastically new life. Its easy to read too much into things sometimes in that intense and insular environment. Not to say that there aren't pushy, demanding parents. Just that its also possible to be overly sensitive to it or read it that way when the whole world has shrunken down.

PS- only advice I have is to not become too rigidly "anti" something with a newborn- things can change so fast and needs arise in new ways that its best to not also stand in your own way with the idea of what kind of parent you are and are not.[/quote]

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