Reply to Son with ASD banned from Grandmother's

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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous] That is NOT bitch behavior. It is a person taking care of her emotional well being. Just because someone is a grown up does not mean they aught to get their feelings hurt OVER AND OVER AGAIN (!!!). It wasn't a one time question. It went on for a while.[/quote]

Wow!  Please go back to the General Parenting board.  A grown woman cuts off contact with her grandson because she can't handle questions like "Does Grandma miss her dog?"  from an austistic 7 year old, and you're concerned with HER emotional well-being?!?!   Obviously you don't have any experience with austistic kids or you would know that "over and over again" is pretty much the most common characteristic of ASD.  Not an excuse, just a fact.  OP said they try to redirect him and tell him not to talk about it.  They are trying.  Grandma isn't.  That's bitch behavior.[/quote]

I am the PP quoted. I am diagnosed with Asperger's. I am a grown woman. If one of our cats died it would be the same for me as it might be for you to lose your child. I could not stand to constantly be reminded and asked about it. I would certainly consider requesting a break from that to help me get over the first initial time of grief.

Nobody but the person himself/herself can judge how much something impacts their life emotionally. I often don't understand why stuff bothers people...the same goes for others understanding things that really bother me. You keep repeating something that is not true: Grandma WAS trying. She didn't loose it the first time the question came up. And nobody but herself has any idea how hard it actually is for her to deal with the repeated questions. Just because she is old and the son is young doesn't mean anything. Anything at all.[/quote]

Autism is different for everyone and clearly your symptoms are different that of the OP.  The other difference is you are an adult who has learned to filter things and this child has not had those life experiences yet even though it clearly sounds as if mom is trying.  [/quote]

I am not saying the child is doing something wrong. I am just saying that just because the child has autism and can not stop asking those questions that does not mean that MIL shouldn't have a problem with the subject being brought up again and again. Knowing that my broken leg will heal in 6 weeks does not make it hurt less right now - just because she knows it's not his intention to hurt her does not change the fact that mentioning her dead dog hurts her. Why is that so hard for people to understand?![/quote]

We all very much understand that it is hard for her but it isn't something that the child can help.  So, basically mom is at an all or nothing - either kids stops which they have tried and its not working or they stop the relationship with MIL.

Every time my child goes into the nursing home to see my MIL (at least weekly) he will comment on something and ask again and again so I get where OP is at.  He is just trying to figure it all out given how his brain works.  He will constantly ask "where is the woman's teeth" - he asked the woman and the daughter said she didn't brush them well as a child, and it was great as now he brushes them for that woman.  I wish I could do a mute button at times and I do try too but sometimes it just comes out, over and over again.[/quote]

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