Reply to Son with ASD banned from Grandmother's

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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]People deal with loss and mourn differently.  Some people become very, very attached to their pets.  If she lived alone, the dog may have been her primary companionship.  Or if she got the dog after another loss of a family member she might have become very emotionally attached to the dog.  That kind of loss can be very hard on a pet owner.  And it's only been 2.5 months.  Despite the fact that she got "a replacement" for the dog, she can still be mourning.  People don't love sequentially.  You don't just get over one pet because you have a new one.  The new pet and companionship help to ease the loss, but it's still a loss.  She'll still have memories of things that the deceased pet did.  If you lost a close friend, but made a new friend a few weeks after, did you just forget the friend you lost because you replaced her?

I think in fairness, you need to give MIL some room for at least a few more months to grieve in her own way.  After 2-3 months, ask if she's feeling better and if she can handle visits with her grandchild again.  Chances are, the wounds are still fresh and having them opened weekly by her grandchild's age and condition appropriate questions are just rubbing her emotions raw.  After a few months, hopefully she'll be past that stage of mourning and will be able to handle the series of questions about the dog each time she visits.  If your son asks, just say that Grandma really misses her dog and needs some time to recover before she is ready to talk about the dog, so your family (you, husband and son) will just leave her alone and after some time, you'll visit with her again.  [/quote]

Mourning the loss of a pet does not make it okay to ban her grandchild from her house for asking some benign questions!! Unless she is mentally I'll, which is possible. How are people not seeing the absurdity of MIL's behavior?  I cannot fathom this at all!! I'm stunned and kind of disgusted.[/quote]

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