Reply to Desperately lonely with my excellent house-husband

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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]Some men show love by helping their wives with chores etc.   My DH is a lot like this. He has a ton of interests that are different from mine and after the birth of our kids he would go out of his way to do chores around the house.  Intimacy did suffer after the kids were born - but thankfully we had had a number of years together without kids first.  We made sure that we were on track sexually and that kept our marriage alive.

There are three things you need to do - 1) appreciate your husband for what he does and allow him the space for his interests,  2) surround yourself with a circle of girlfriends that can provide you with companionship and 3) make sure that you and DH are connecting sexually.

[/quote]

Thanks for this.  OP here.  I do know there is love in what he does, especially things like the lunches.  These are things we sort of do for each other -- he's bad about money, so I pay the bills and keep on top of his checking account, etc., because it's just not his forte.  I'm bad about nutrition, so when I was pregnant he started making me lunches to make sure that I was eating protein, vegetables, etc.  He kept it up when I was nursing.  There is a LOT of love in the gesture, I know that, I do.

Until recently, I was pretty effusive with thanks for this stuff, even though I'm not asking for it, because I told myself that it was love.  I've read the 5 Love Languages book and I kept telling myself that this is just his way of showing love.  I think lately, though, the complete lack of a connection between us, despite all of these caretaking gestures, is making it hard for me to express appreciation.

I do have to work on building that circle of girlfriends so I'm not depending on him for most of my companionship needs.  But shouldn't a spouse provide SOME companionship, at least on a daily existence-in-the-same-home basis?  How else do you and your husband keep your marriage alive?[/quote]

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