Reply to Becoming wealthy after marriage

Forum Index » Money and Finances

Reply to "Becoming wealthy after marriage "

Subject:

Emoticons





More smilies

Text Color: Font: Close Marks

[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]Where do the kids fit in to this?  If he were as "driven" as you want him to be, neither one of you would be around for them. You can't both do 80 hr weeks and actively parent the children.  How old are they?

Are you a doctor? If so, I imagine much of your big salary will need to go to pay student loans. That should be a priority before gifts to family as well.  Maybe you guys could go through a Dave Ramsey class together and get on the same money page.  [/quote]

Our kids have a bit of way left before becoming school aged. But in retrospect I've been looking at what he has had to do, and less of what he will have to do when they are in school, I'm gone, and household responsibilities have to be filled. If that is what he is prepping for than I can see that, he hasn't made any suggestion to it. He used to always say he could never be a SAHD, so I've been operating on the assumption that he stays where he is career wise, still works and we have to hire more help and depend on my family more to fill in the gap. I don't find that an admirable reason to remain underemployed. If I'm wrong and he is deliberately scaling back, then that's a conversation we need to have.

I have no school debt, undergrad was minuscule and paid off already, everything after that was fully paid by scholarships. I guess I don't have any "big" things to pay for with a priority, to say hey don't spend that ridiculous amount on XYZ. He has student loan debt but not a ridiculous amount. To the other PP about buying a fridge and helping parents get by, I can support. But the gifts if am referring to is related to his father's hobbies and likes, as well as his sister, his niece is more school related which I have no problem taking on. [/quote]

Once the kids are in school......  there really is not as much time as you would think.  Sick days, snow days, teacher work days, Christmas weeks, spring break, summer break.  School only covers 7 hours a day and full time work is closer to 10+.  Then there are the activities, sports, scouts, dancing lessons, music lessons - tutors if they need it.....and homework.   There are many days at the school where parents are expected to show up so see their child sing, recite, read (DR Seuss' birthday).........field trip chaperones, weekly reading buddies......    Many families find it easier to do daycare and both work full time in the 0-5 year old range and then scale back when the children hit ES.  In MS and HS YOU WANT a parent at home since you will obviously be able to afford it.  Not in their hair- but [i]around[/i].

Of course not every family does the above- but FAR more in your projected tax bracket do.  It is the upper middle class lifestyle is a very different world from the one in which you and your DH grew up.  Having a laid back parent ("with little ambition") at home is a godsend.   Hire a weekly cleaning lady and a weekly mower- that has helped nearly as many marriages as therapy. ;)

Have the talk about finances and have a plan for dealing with family in need.  That is fine- but decide it together- don't dictate.  It is you AND your spouse's money regardless of who brings in the bigger paycheck. Practice saying "our money" if you have to.   If you do not see it as a partnership with each contributing differently- then that will continue to be a problem for you.   Be kind, be generous, be gracious, be humble.  [/quote]

Options

	Disable HTML in this message
	Disable BB Code in this message
	Disable smilies in this message

Review message

Search Recent Topics Hottest Topics