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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]

How is it ok for a woman to not take on the traditional gender role (being a SAHM), but it's not ok for a man to not take on the traditional role of being ambitious and the breadwinner?

My DH is very good at his job.  If he wanted to, he could make a lot more $.  But along with that, comes more stress and working longer hours.  Neither of us want that because we feel it would take away time from family.  He makes enough to to take care of the family. That's all we need.  I don't need him to be more ambitious so that we could have more $, and his identity is not wrapped up in his title at his job.

I think the question to ask is "why do you want your DH to be ambitious" and "how ambitious should he be?"   [/quote]

Well simply because my DH did not want a SAHM, never did it was something we discussed very early on. My sister was a SAHW, then SAHM he has had a clear view of what it would be like and has never wanted it. I never said it is not okay for any man to do, I said what I wanted, expected, discussed and was agreed to in MY marriage.

I want him to be ambitious I guess because that what I've been raised to believe is what you should do. Of course it's colored by having next to nothing, and I never saw that as a problem but the reactions here have definitely made me realize that maybe it's not necessary. How ambitious? Idk, I've always taken the hardest part, again because of my childhood I feel I have something to prove maybe. I just always thought we were on the same page and he would always do the same. Maybe he has changed, and not due to bad intentions.

I've never heard of funsental values being something easily changed, and am not sure the role of a SAHD is something I would welcome with open arms.. Something to explore in counseling I guess. [/quote]

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