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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]I'm always a little taken aback by how involved and rulesy Indian parents are. DD's friend from school is Indian and I know the mother quite well. She tiger parents AND coddles to a weird extent. The Indian girl's life is regimented and run on rules and a schedule and no freedom to do anything on her own. She's up at 5 AM every day to study and then she has to go to Indian classical dance lessons and tennis and she has no choice but to go to medical school. DD says she's not even allowed to date (the girls are in the 8th grade). And when DD visited their home for a sleepover, she found that the kids there don't even do chores, and if they want they're allowed to eat in their rooms. Household tasks are "beneath" them.

They're a nice family and DD seems to like her friend (although I don't want her to get any ideas about being pampered at home and not being made to do her own laundry), but I really feel like Indians are raising handicapped kids who aren't self-reliant, can't think for themselves, and are too tied to their parents' apron strings.[/quote]

I'm going to flame away because she just painted all Indians with one brush!  JFC!  [/quote]

Oh, give it a rest.

I'm one of the PPs who posted that I was simultaneously coddled and tiger parented.  There ARE some generalizations about how different cultures parent.

You and the other PPs implying the OP is racist need to back off.  I responded with an honest response because I don't really think the OP is racist.  [b]She's just asking.[/b]  Sure, maybe she's judging, but there are tons of people judging on this board.  And, maybe understanding more why things are the way they are for her DD's friend's family might help her understand the kid a little better.  If OP really was 'racist' (whatever that means), she probably wouldn't be letting her DD go over to this friend's house.  [b]Sounds like she's looking for some explanations as to the Indian parents' reasoning for their parenting.[/b][/quote]

I'm sorry but if OP had a question, I seem to have missed it?  All I can see is a laundry list of judgment summed up in a sentence or two at the end.  The facts she's presented may be true, but the judgment in the way she has presented them and the disdain for the way other families/cultures parent is what makes her statements racist and offensive.  Everyone has rules, OP.  Just because your DD"s friend's parents rules are different, doesn't make them wrong or bad.  But judging them the way you are and drawing broad sweeping generalizations about a culture based on one family is offensive.  (Handicapped kids who aren't self-reliant?  Really?)  Focus on the way you are raising your own child and stop worrying so much about what everyone else does.[/quote]

Wow, so you don't ever judge other people's parenting choices?  I call BS.  We all do it.

Sounds a little like the OP is trying to figure out what the dynamics are at the other girls' house to understand why they do things they way they do.

Commenting on another culture's parenting is not racist and offensive.  Or do you think that all cultures parent the same way?  There are generalizations that can be made that are often true.

If OP was on here saying that she didn't want her kid playing with the Indian kid because her skin was too dark, then I'd agree that it's offensive and racist.  Whatever her motives for asking, she's still not mentioning that she has any issues with the friendship.  IMO, it's a bit rude on your part to cry RACIST!!!! just based on her original post.[/quote]

PP, I agree that we all judge other parenting choices, but I find I do it quietly to myself - or sometimes, snarkily with some friends.  I don't typically draw broad sweeping generalizations about an entire culture based on one family, no.  If OP was asking about the dynamics about the other girl's house, I think the way to do that might have been to include a question or two in her post - "I've noticed DD's Indian friend's parents wake her up at 5 AM to study and go to all kinds of classes.  Is that typical of Indian families?  Does anyone know why?"  Saying: [b]Indians are raising handicapped kids who aren't self-reliant, can't think for themselves, and are too tied to their parents' apron strings[/b] is not a question.  It's a rude (inaccurate) judgment.

I agree that sometimes with parenting there are generalizations to be made among cultures, and that's not a bad thing.  Most of the Indians responding to this thread, for example, have agreed that Indian parents tend to place a high value on education.  My parents sure did and I'll be eternally grateful to them for it.  But there are cultural observations and questions, and then there are judgments.  We'll have to agree to disagree about which category OP's post falls into.[/quote]

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