Reply to I can't talk to my wife about money.

Forum Index » Relationship Discussion (non-explicit)

Reply to "I can't talk to my wife about money."

Subject:

Emoticons





More smilies

Text Color: Font: Close Marks

[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]First, she may not want to let you take over the budgeting, but there's no reason you can't set up a Mint account, link your bank and credit card accounts, and start analyzing your spending and working on a budget on your own.  Then sit down with her, and try to ignore the tears and histrionics.  Pretend she's not doing it, and respond to whatever rational substance she offers in a calm manner.

You: "Jane, I'm concerned that our spending is getting out of control and we're not saving nearly as much as we should to secure our future.  Let's take a look at this and see where we can try to trim things back a little bit."

Jane: *sobs* "We don't have enough money for anything,  I need to go back to work!"

You: "Well, that's something we can explore.  Why don't we first look at our current spending and see what's going on.  I've set up a Mint account and started analyzing where our money is going.  Here are three areas I think we could cut back on a lot."

Jane: "But I need new curtains for the baby's room!  We can't cut back on home decor spending!"

You: "We don't have to cut it out completely.  Look, we can set a monthly budget for home decor, and if there's something you want that's more than the monthly budget, the amount will roll over month to month until we've saved enough."

If you really can't get through to her, you need marriage counseling or a divorce attorney, because otherwise you will end up broke, miserable, and resenting each other.  The crying and carrying on is just emotional manipulation, to keep you from interfering with her getting her way.[/quote]

The first line is a conversation nonstarter. It's accusatory and sure to trigger tears.  How about, 'I've been trying to work out a way to get those new curtains for the baby's room. You're creative; take a look at this spreadsheet and help me find a way to do this."[/quote]

Options

	Disable HTML in this message
	Disable BB Code in this message
	Disable smilies in this message

Review message

Search Recent Topics Hottest Topics