Reply to How do your in-laws or parents go about determining the length of a visit?

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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]For those of you complaining that your parents don't pay for groceries or cook- did your parents not take care of you for nearly 20 years? My mom cooked, cleaned and paid for everything in my life for more than 20 years- I can certainly foot the bill for a few meals and spend some time with her when she comes to visit my kids.[/quote]

Pay it forward, that's how one side of the family operates. My 70 yo father still wants to pay for everything (meals, gas, food) when they visit or vice versa, citing "'how much you kids need to have and save in order to live around here and continue to raise your young family.'"

And totally opposite with the inlaws. They don't open their pocketbook, nor even offer to, on their long stays here, and when we visit for high holidays they expect us to take them out and if we eat more than 2 meals a day, fend for ourselves. Oh, and there are no snacks in the house lest FIL eat them all in one go.

So essentially one set of parents subsidizes the other. Ironically the considerably wealthier set is the cheapos. They have never cited a reason to my husband why they are such thankless guests.  He did, however, have to have a talk with them once we had a baby about how we need to save for retirement, college, childcare, etc. Reiterate that we have 20+ years of significant expenses, while we both work.  They still never offer to take us out or pay for anything they've consumed or used during their extended stays.  Just puzzling and rubs us both the wrong way. And by now we've had quite a few great houseguests (1-3 days) and the contrast is striking. And embarrassing. [/quote]

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