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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]OP here - the man with whom I'm in a relationship was married previously for over 10 years.  His wife left him in 2013 and his divorce was finalized earlier this year.  He took a job here in DC that he had been planning on taking while he was still married, and had he still been married, his then-wife and child would have accompanied him.

I would not ever trick a man or have an oops baby.  Just not a good way to be, and not how I am.

Not sure if I can have a child, as I have never had the opportunity to try.  There are not many guarantees in life, but I'm in good health and willing to do whatever is necessary to have a healthy child.

Also, I don't resent my boyfriend's daughter.  I feel a lot of compassion for a child whose parents recently divorced and who is basically left behind with just one parent and separated by a long distance and long periods of time from the other parent.

In posting here, I was looking for any advice from any women/men who've really wanted a child, but had to forgo having one because they were in a relationship with someone who did not want more.  [b]How does one get past that disappointment and regret?  And what substitutes are there for having a child of one's own? [/b] I already have a dog, but that cannot ever be the same.  Thanks![/quote]

You already know the answer.

You don't get past the disappointment and regret and there is no substitute for having your own child.

Reflect on this - you stay with current BF, married or not, and in 10 years, he leaves for whatever reason.  You still long for a child but now you have missed the chance to get pregnant and adoption is now even harder.  Think honestly - would you be hurt? resentful? wasted years?

You want kids and he doesn't. It happens.  You are making the mistake in believing that there is no other man out there whom you could love and would love you AND would want to raise children.

Change is hard OP.  It really is. But regret is much harder.[/quote]

The OP is FOURTY THREE YEARS OLD.  Do you think she can dump this guy, find a new one, get him to marry her, and agree to get her pregnant via IVF, all before menopause starts to kick in? Get real here folks.  Finding a spouse is not like searching under the couch cushions for some coins.

Men in in their 40s in DC are not lined up to get married.[/quote]

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