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[quote=Anonymous]14:45 - So, you would want to stay together because you committed to stay but you would be willing to explore the options of both of you having sex with others so you'd be breaking said vows anyway!  That is not good advice, I am sorry.

First of all this guy was looking at gay porn 8 years ago.  The wife was silly to ignore that.

Fast forward to today and it sounds like he is practically having a breakdown because of this "emotional affair."   I doubt it's simply an emotional affair or he wouldn't be as upset as you make him sound, OP.

Every gay person I know says that they have always known they were gay.  I believe you said this about your friend earlier as well.  I believe you also said he comes from a religious background.  What I do not understand is this.  It is 2014.  It's NOT THE 1950's!  Your friend should have sought counseling a LONG time ago and never should have married this woman.  She too, should have recognized the warning signs but she chose to put her blinders on and move forward.

I know several gay men who used to be married to women and had children with them.  The children are all grown now and everyone is happily adjusted.  I cannot imagine what it would have been like had those couples stayed together.

It's a sad situation your friend is in and I wish him the best of luck, truly I do.  But I do not think he can stay with his wife and live a lie and pretend to be something he is not.  Nor to I think it would be a healthy family dynamic to have mother and father married with mother sleeping with whomever she wants and father having a boyfriend on the side.

There will definitely be some tough times ahead for everyone but living the truth is better than living a lie.

Just my opinion.  Good luck to your friend, OP.[/quote]

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