Reply to I don't know if I should invite exes to our wedding

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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]So...am I the only one who thinks this is a small potatoes issue? If you're really starting your "for better or for worse", "'till death do us part" life together, you're gonna face aging parents, possible fertility issues, child-rearing dilemmas, maybe personal health crises, etc. If there is this much drama over a few dudes with whom you had a roll in the hay, you've got some tough decades ahead.

Invite these guys or don't, come clean with your fiancee or don't, but Lord, get some perspective. In the grander scheme, this is nothing.[/quote]

Not so sure about that honestly.  All the stuff that you mentioned ARE, in a vacum, much bigger issues than who she slept with before they met.  However, her method of handling it is no small issue.  She believes that deception and silence is the best way to resolve the issue.  [b]So...would YOU want to face life's challenges side by side with someone who cannot come clean about something like this? [/b] Although I could get past my mate's sexual history before me, the deception, the silence and the decision to bring that person around me would cause me to, at the very least, question judgment.  [b]I would wonder whether that person could be trusted when the crap really hits the fan.  [/b][/quote]

In all honesty, it doesn't matter what is acceptable to US, it matters what is acceptable to OP's fiance. OP knows he would not approve of her behavior, so she kept silent. She is pretending to be someone who she is NOT. That's a BIG problem when you are planning to get married. He needs to know the truth about her. If he cannot respect her because she had ONS or FWB, he is entitled to feel that way and end the engagement. If he can forgive her deception and still respect her, then they will get married. Either way, OP doesn't deserve to be married to someone who DOES NOT respect her.

OP, what are you going to do?[/quote]

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