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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]NP.  My MIL is a devout Catholic.  My DH is pretty much disinterested in religion at this point; he joined my (Protestant) church at one point but hasn't attended in years.  He might want to investigate Buddhism if he ever gets the urge to revisit religion.  We never discuss/debate religion with my in-laws.

But it hurts my daughter when her grandmother says thoughtless things or when my daughter attends her grandparents' church to be respectful (when we visit them) and then the priest preaches something that seems very exclusionary, implying that Catholicism is the only route to salvation and anyone not Catholic is headed for hell.

I'm just mentioning this because even if you take the nod-and-smile approach or even if the MIL never says something blatantly judgmental, such as questioning the morals of a non-believer, you could still run into some tense times in the future.

I pretty much agree with the PP who said that being a non-believer is one thing, but keeping one's atheism a secret is another thing that is more distancing and would contribute to a loss of trust.  I also agree with those who suggest that it might be best for your fiance to have a frank talk with his mother about his and your positions.  If in general he is an avoider and you are a speak-upper, that in itself could cause problems in your future, and it might be good to discuss that now too or see if you can agree on an approach that is somewhere in the middle.[/quote]

OP here. This is a helpful post. I will certainly allow the concept of religion into my child's life, but would not allow hateful people to attempt indoctrination, no matter who is on the other side. I have already had a small issue with future MIL and my partner backed me 100%. She was angry that he couldn't come visit her at the last minute and she somehow decided it was my fault, even though I have tried to build those bonds between them as well as her and I. My partner is not too close with his mother, so I do not worry about her coming between us.

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Also, I do not see a need to tell her I am an atheist as I'm sure it would be viewed as though I was trying to build a barrier.  I don't feel that religious talk needs to be discussed with her unless absolutely necessary, such as it involving my children. I also do not understand your distinction between an atheist and a non-believer. I tend to use those terms interchangeably.  [/quote]

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