Reply to Terrible situation with sibling, please advise

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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]I am the OP. i know i cannot take them in. The pressure from my mother that i should be doing more to help them has led me to question myself and i just feel so rotten about this. can't help feeling guilty in a weird way i don't really understand. [/quote]

Your mother is feeling guilty that SHE is not helping and is obeying her husband about not helping. You shouldn't feel guilty, and if you need to be brutally blunt with your mother, so be it. Let her know you are not the solution, that your brother needs to get a real job that meets his family's needs better, and that you just cannot give up your own source of income or sacrifice your family's precarious stability because your brother can't get/keep a full-time job. You will NOT sacrifice your own kids and put your whole family into a downward-spiral situation. It's not on you to suddenly be looking after all those kids (plus your brother) for an indeterminate and possibly lengthy amount of time.  Give her push-back on her own situation of not being willing to force the issue with her husband. After all, SHE is your brother's MOM; SHE should be taking the lead on helping. [/quote]

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