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Relationship Discussion (non-explicit)
Reply to "Getting seperated...what is fair?"
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[quote=Anonymous]Try to hammer something out through collaborative divorce BUT caution him that anything decided will be run by an attorney that is looking out for you and only you. $1500 seems a bit low but let's remember he is making $100k a year and other posters have given their examples which may or may not apply here. Also SN treatments if properly diagnosed and not challenged by the father will be another factor to split (maybe when you both put in the CS calcs you forgot to include daycare, SN treatments, etc.) You may want him to sign off on an agreement that your kid is truly SN and to the current path -- and cost -- of treatment so he doesn't show up 5-6 years down the road and challenges all these treatments and accuse you of having Munchausen's by proxy or something. The $30k of debt is something you might get saddled with. Perhaps he could offer to assume it for say 55% of the house but getting the whole house that'd be too damn much as he stands to make $10k or MORE 15, 20, whatever years down the road. Don't let him make you what amounts to a live-out nanny. The basic split (every other weekend and 8 four hour visits) doesn't seem too bad unless he starts trying to weasel around on that (shifting dates last-minute, etc.). In that case an ironclad agreement always helps if he tries to be a weasel about it ... A mediator could be helpful as well but the mediator's central loyalty is for the deal and said mediator cannot offer you individual legal advice (i.e. he/she can rule "yeah that'd pass muster" but not "Ma'am, with all due respect you're screwing yourself over.") [/quote]
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