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Relationship Discussion (non-explicit)
Reply to "When a friend confides about a really major secret and it changes things..."
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[quote=Anonymous]When I was young I unconsciously sought out friends who did not judge. Later I realized that was a result of weakness. It wasn't that I wanted freedom to be myself. It was that I wanted to avoid the pressure of living up to anyone's expectations. Now I have a spouse and friends with high expectations. It doesn't mean I have to be perfect, but it means I can keep striving to be better and still be supported. But that comes with a price. If I had an affair I wouldn't confide in my friends because that' a terrible situation to put them in, unless I did it with the expectation they would expect me to try to do the right thing - tell my spouse, seek counseling, whatever. The friend here knows she put OP in an unfair situation. She knows what she did is wrong (calling it a revelation or an awakening or whatever doesn't make it less wrong). If she doesn't expect OP will expect her to do the right thing, they have made the wrong kind of friendship for this.[/quote]
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