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[quote=Anonymous]Lots of negative stuff in your marriage, which is refueling itself. He sounds like an ass, but you have some role in things too. Here's what I would do.

1) End the co-sleeping. The longer you draw out the situation, the harder it will be for your daughter to fall asleep on her own. I know, because I essentially had to sleep train my 4 year old (we were not cosleeping, but had started lying down in bed with him at 2, when we had a new baby, and by 4, he was adamant about it. And I was sick of it). What we did; explained that he was a big boy and it was important for him to fall asleep on his own and that we were near by. Picked out 2 toys-a smaller one and a larger one. He would get the small one if he stayed in  his room and went to bed on his own. The larger one for 3 nights in a row. First night, he came out about 7 times, I walked him silently to bed. HTe 8th time, he just howled 10 min and fell asleep. Next am, told him we were proud and got the small toy. Rinse repeat 3 times, and now he is happy to get a kiss goodnight and go to bed on his own.

2) ramp up your hours at work--if DH thinks a nanny is better, then look into going back full time. Your daughter will be in school soon enough. I say this both because your DH is not respecting you, and also because if you divorce (a real possibility here) you will want to be working.

3) DO NOT have another child now. I'm sorry but it just bodes for disaster at this point. It *will* destroy your marriage and life as a single mom of 2 is going to be more than you bargained for, particularly with a contentious ex.

4) I normally would suggest marital therapy stat, although at this point things so contentious it just might hasten a divorce. In lieu of that, I'd start to see an individual therapist weekly. But there is a shit-ton of resentment all around here, and both of you dredging up stuff. No good can come from that.

5) please explain the meat thing--you are a non meat eater and wanted to raise your daughter that way--you agreed before marriage and now he reneges? not cool but probably at this point not worth struggling over. The bedtime and the other stuff is more important. Then again, I know people can feel very strongly about this.

6) How are HIS parenting skills? is there a possibility that he feels inadequate and thus 'blames' you for not raising your child in such a way as to make his time with her easier?

7) are there other stressors on your life or his life besides the usual?[/quote]

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