Reply to DD doesn't want to be in family portrait

Forum Index » Family Relationships

Reply to "DD doesn't want to be in family portrait"

Subject:

Emoticons





More smilies

Text Color: Font: Close Marks

[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]Each summer, the extended family gets together. Each year, my MIL insists on a professional family portrait. One of my daughters is ... unphotogenic. We have spent every single summer since she was three with her hysterically crying and screaming that she doesn't want to be in the photo shoot because she hates how she looks. Each year MIL insists she be in it, each year we force her to be in it.[b] Each year my MIL bitches to DH and I about how DD looks terrible and ruined the portrait and have we considered plastic surgery, she's found a great surgeon, etc. MIL also talks to other adults in the family about it. So she wants her to be in the photo but complains she wrecks it. [/b]

To be frank, DD wants plastic surgery (but she's 12, so too young), and we understand why. Our genes just didn't mix in the same way for her that they did for our other two kids. The problem is, now DD doesn't even want to go on the family trip which is a week long, solely because of the portrait, even though she loves and misses her cousins and otherwise has a great time. Last year she had an upset stomach the whole night before.

We just got the email from MIL about the dress code for this summer's portrait, and DD has already cried hysterically last night about hating how she looks and not wanting to go at all. She never wants to be in pictures at all and we force her once a year in case she's ever kidnapped and we have to give a picture to police (slightly paranoid, I know). She has felt this way since she was about 4.

Is there any solution to this we haven't seen? It hurts me to see my daughter so miserable. [/quote]

Emphasis mine.

You and your husband need to put your foot down and respect your daughter's wish not to be photographed in the family portrait (the once-a-year photo in the evenience of a kidnapping is another kettle of fish altogether. Kudos for doing it, seriously. Pheraps you can reason with her about the pic's purpose - I think she's old enough for that - and assure that the pic will never ever be seen by anyone but Mum and Dad unless you need to show it to a police officer?) . Also, you both need to read your MIL the riot act concerning her harping your family re. your daughter's looks and plastic surgery. Look at what she's doing to your child! Your daughter wants plastic surgery! At 12! And she wants to forfeit her family vacation because of the cruel, sorry excuse for a Grandma that fate dealt her.

I think that, for your daughter's wellbeing, therapy should be considered. And that both you and your husband need to stand up to MIL when she starts on your kid's looks and tell her: "This kind of talk is unacceptable. It is cruel and it hurts Daughter. Stop it." Every. single. time. If Grandma Hell-on-Wheels doesn't get a clue in a reasonable amount of time, then reducing or cutting contact is in order, in my book.

Your poor daughter. Give her a hug from me.[/quote]

Options

	Disable HTML in this message
	Disable BB Code in this message
	Disable smilies in this message

Review message

Search Recent Topics Hottest Topics