Reply to I want to be the fun laid back wife. Please tell me how.

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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]I heard something on the radio once, years ago when my kids were infant/toddler:  Always make your DH *want* to come home.

So I thought about this, and really, why would he want to come him to me handing him a honey-do list and basically getting the second shift?  Heck, he could stay at work where he doesn't get any backtalk and people do what he says without complaint, and look up to him.

I decided then and there; no more honey-do list.  I do it myself, or I hire a handyman to do what I can't.  Even when it's something he wants to do for himself (like, connect the new TV to the speakers etc, which of course, ends up getting all screwed up).  He *says* he wants to do it himself, but you know, when he comes home and it's all done and ready to go, he does not sit around complaining about how he didn't get to assemble it.
 
I don't b***h about the mess he makes.  I buy his favorite beer.  I always kiss him goodbye in the morning, and in the evening I stop what I'm doing and go kiss him hello.  (that is important; it's very primal, all social animals greet each other)

I just try and make it a nice experience for him to come home.  I want him to think of it as a hotel.

At first it's hard because it feels a little unfair.  But I just suck it up, and you let go of resentment when you see that your plan is working.

It's been about 8 years since implementing this plan, and he has said that coming home is like coming to an oasis.  Our marriage is really strong--stronger than before implementing the plan.  We have a lot of fun together!

I SAH, so obviously this plan would have to be tweaked for a dual-income couple.  But the goal is the same:  Figure out how to make your DH want to come home.[/quote]

Gross. Maybe it's because have essentially made yourself your husband's pet, but some of us work at least as hard as our husbands and don't have to worry about kissing their asses so they "want to come home" and toss some cash our way. My DH contributes to our family because it's "our" family, not his or mine. I don't have to act like a maid and a prostitute to make that happen.

If something like the OP mentioned happens, I would set up the monitor myself (I'm better at home improvement than DH anyway) or if I weren't able to get it working, I would send it back and get one I liked after telling him we need a working monitor and giving him a weekend to sort it out.

Adult men don't need to pretend they are living in a hotel -- they are living in a home with their family and should know it (and contribute). And adult women can do shit for themselves instead of harping on their husbands to do it or becoming little slave pets.[/quote]

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