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[quote=Anonymous]OP here.  Want to explain why we lost touch and why I didn't pursue us getting back together as friends, and why that doesn't automatically translate into "well then I guess you weren't very close friends."

First, (as a brief tangent) for those 40 and under, please understand that there was a time when there were no cell phones and email.  That meant that you didn't take your contact info with you automatically.  So if you moved, people couldn't find you unless they called your mom or something.  This used to be a very common thing to do, not long ago.  When high schoolers went off to college, they actually lost touch.  You could still find them through the parents, or at a reunion or through classmates, but say if you MET in college and only had their college address, then you could actually lose track of them after graduation.  This concept is SO WEIRD even as I think about it, but that's how it was just 10-15 years ago and back.

Ok but onto this situation, which didn't involve the above (that was my other friend's situation):  My deceased friend was a very practical person, and also very very ambitious.

My now-DH was engaged before to Person Y, and he broke the engagement and they ended up on bad terms.  Person Y was a partner at Firm Z.  Flash-forward a few years and my friend transferred over and became a partner at Firm Z about the same time I became engaged to DH.

So I could see how suddenly, my friend was in a partnership at a junior level and dealing with Person Y, and being friends with me and future DH would be awkward for her.  She basically phased me (us) out.

And you know, I understand it.  This was pre-marriage, pre-kids, at a time when we were very career-driven and didn't necessarily have the same viewpoint as people do after marriage/kids, growing older, watching parents die, etc.  At the time it's just about me-and-my-career.  And one worries about their career, and thinks about what could mess it up. DH's ex was volatile, which is why he broke off her engagement with her in the first place.

Anyways I saw that yes, it was awkward for her and after a few attempts, I let it lie.[/quote]

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