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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]This is the OP.

To clarify:

I live on my own with my roommates not with family (thank god)
I'm the phone account holder on our phone bill. My grandma constantly says she doesn't want the phone but won't pay the early termination fee and I can't be left with any extra expenses. 
As far and the joint saving she refuses to answer the phone so I can get her to switch over the accounts. The bank is giving me a hard time. So pretty much I can't access the money without her ( another way to control me)
And yes all the money in the account is mine.[/quote]

OP, do you pay the bill also, or are just the account holder? There may be a way to transfer the account to someone else's name (my FIL transferred his account to my husband before we got married b/c the in-laws wanted to get a different provider and husband wanted to keep his account and phone and add me to his plan). Since you're the primary account holder, you know the password.

I've been in a similar situation, but didn't realize how controlling/manipulative certain family members were until my astute friends and then-BF informed me of their observations. I learned a lot about myself, mostly that I didn't respect or take care of myself as much as I should have.

If you're going to cut off your family or at least limit contact, you should first address the issues with them either face-to-face or in a letter, simply stating that you're thankful for their love and support but now that you're xx years old you need to become independent. Don't threaten any actions like moving far away or not letting them see your dogs or whatever. If they respond indignantly as if they've never done anything wrong and how could you be so rude etc. (which is most likely to happen), then tell them in a diplomatic way that if they can't respect you then you just can't be around them ever/as much as you used to.

And then HOLD FAST TO YOUR BOUNDARIES.

My biggest problem was that I wavered. No one to watch the dogs? Send them to a doggy daycare or boarding facility. Or ask your roommates to care for them for a lower fee. (Or, if you're really good friends with your roommates, they may do it for free.) But your independence is going to come at a price. And don't be afraid to dip into your savings if you need to (sparingly)--that's what it's for, right?

What about your grandpa? Is he married to your grandma or is he from the other side of the family? Since he agrees with you about their craziness and it sounds like you trust him, he may be able to help you out.[/quote]

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