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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]
PS, sometimes moms get together and blow of steam about things that maybe they wouldn't do as easily among men. E.g.,

*My husband's socks-on-floor and toilet-seat-up issues
*Are your boobs and abs shot after childbearing, too?
*Where do you get your lips, legs, ass waxed?
*Porn: Yes or no?
*PPD
*Moms we can't stand :)

(I only contribute to two of the above topics, but I've heard them all! It's very "Women's Magazine" + pajama party.  No sports, very little politics (even among the very politically oriented mums), but almost always hysterical. :D)[/quote]

When I was in a moms' club, the conversation was mainly "My husband is so incompetent at domestic and childcare stuff, he doesn't even know that the baby's socks go on her feet. Men, huh?!" Having a SAHD in the room would not be good for this conversation topic.[/quote]

I agree with this, and hate it. I am not a SAHD but I am WOHM with a truly equal partner dad who is a WOHD.  I am really shocked by how many women really bash their husbands, and at the same time, shocked at how many men really do seem to dump everything on their wives- hello, 1950.  But when women in a  group start bashing men in general, I feel like saying Um, maybe you people married neanderthals, but I did not. My husband gives baths, puts the babies to bed, shops for clothes, washes dishes, etc. And if I say something like "well, my husband does things differently" it comes across as bragging, and their is a sheen of judgement about me as well that I could interpret in a variety of ways. So if it is tough for ME not to play the downtrodden wife, I can imagine these women would not make it comfortable for a SAHD. [b]And, OP, just imagine what those women are saying about your wife, I am sure it is not good.[/b] [/quote]

Not OP's DW, but as a WOHM with a SAHD taking care of my kid, I can tell you, I could not possibly care less what such comments would be. FWIW, all I've ever heard to my face is "you're so lucky" (which I am).  Nobody who has seen my DH in action questions his ability or devotion to parenting.  I feel sorry for women who bash their husbands in this way.

I found that there was a bit of judgment/assumptions/discomfort at first when DH SAH, even from family and close friends, about how a SAHD might not be as good of a parent. That's my experience with any time people are outside their comfort zone with someone who is different or acting outside a traditional role. I saw a similar dynamic watching people deal with a friend of mine who has a severe speech impediment, for example, and I saw it in my family when I dated a guy outside my race.  They don't know much or have no experience with the new thing, and unbeknownst to them they try and extrapolate how it will be by applying mental models they already have.  This often leads to them ascribing everything to the difference.  Then they see the truth and it gives them new mental models that are closer to reality.

One person I have never seen any judgment of DH from is the baby :)  [/quote]

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