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Money and Finances
Reply to "merging money when you become a family"
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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]We have a shared checking account and shared credit cards that are used for all household expenses, dinners out, travel, etc. We put in a certain amount every month that should cover everything--if we have extra, we put it in shared savings, or just leave it there for later use. Sometimes we come up short, and we put more in. Beyond that, we each have our own accounts to do with what we wish. I think it's pretty funny that people who 100% pool their monies think that it's the people who don't who are exhibiting a lack of trust. Because to me, if you don't get to have access to all your partner's accounts, you need a lot more trust that he/she isn't blowing through all "their" money and won't suddenly come up short when the household expenses need to be paid. The people with 100% pooled finances to me seem like controlling fraidy cats, who want to be sure they are aware of where every single penny goes. Also, I think the ladies who are in 100% pooled finances sometimes doth protest too much--trying to make their arrangement sound all modern and "with it," when really it sounds like a throwback to the 50s where women were beholden to their husbands on all financial decisions. But if it makes you guys feel better to think you actually are the ones without trust issues, you go right ahead. [/quote] We have joint accounts and separate accounts, but the way we do our budgeting is that everything goes into the joint accounts except for an equal amount in our separate accounts. We keep the separate accounts for the convenience of having separate check cards. We merged finances when we bought a place together before we were engaged. The idea that couples that keep things separate have more trust is silly, but go ahead and tell yourself that. Why should one partner have more disposable money than the other because he/she earns more if the money is "ours". I have earned more than DH in the past, we earn about the same now and there will likely be a time when he earns more. None of that will affect the relative distribution of funds between us. We have enough independence that we do not monitor each other's day to day spending but we never have a situation where we want to do something such as a vacation but only one of us can afford it. We make all such decisions jointly.[/quote]
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