Reply to Niece called me hysterical. Teen pregnancy, brother kicked her out

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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]I was a pregnant teen and I went to live with a relative while I was pregnant.

It may feel or seem like you are being shipped away but the truth is emotionally it was better. I did not need to deal with all my friends (many had abortions) and their judgement of me for actually having the baby.

I went to counseling which was nice, because after 5 sessions the therapist said that I was handling this in a healthy and mature manner.

I did give the child up for a adoption but that was my decision and I literally did not want to know what anybody else thought. I would let her work it out with a therapist.

There are 2 decisions: have the baby, don't have the baby (I think she already made that decision otherwise her parents would not know.)
Then there are 2 decisions: raise the baby or find a loving home for the baby. (from there the decisions are endless)

She is a pregnant teen not a drug addicted felon. Treat her like a niece, not a criminal. Have specific and measurable expectations. You must do X, Y, Z for us to feel like we are helping you not enabling you, etc.

Good Luck! It's going to be longer than a week or two.

[/quote]

I think this is some of the sanest advice you have received.

You and your DH need to have some very in depth conversations about what it would take to have her join your household for the next few months or years. Ideas:
* curfew
* drug & alcohol free
* help out X hours a week with your kids
* attend school
* pre-natal care (if she doesn't terminate)
* some sort of counseling or support group for teen mothers
* possibly some sort of job to help defray the costs adding her and a baby to your household

I think I would consider having her volunteer or work with infants, too. Something to give her a taste of what's to come if she chooses to raise the baby herself. Maybe the infant room at a/your church?

Good luck to all of you.[/quote]

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