Reply to Conflict around family size

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[quote=Anonymous]I think it is ridiculous to agree on the number of kids you are going to have before you even have kids. Talk about it - sure. Discuss what you THINK you want.

You have no idea what kind of parent you or your spouse will be. You have no idea how your life circumstances might change - for the better or worse. You have no idea how you will feel about being a parent until you are one. You have no idea what kind of needs or extra time and resources your child will require. You have no idea how your financial situation might change.

So to make some hard and fast 'rule' as though it is some kind of contract before hand is ridiculous. It isn't  moral failure or lack of integrity or character to decide after living the reality of child that you now feel differently. Maybe you thought you only wanted one, but now want 2 or 3. Maybe you thought you wanted six but realize that 2 is what is best for you. Maybe you thought you wanted 3 but you haven't been able to conceive easily and the one you have it.

Life changes. Holding grudges and resentment over this will ruin your marriage. [/quote]

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