Reply to Conflict around family size

Forum Index » Relationship Discussion (non-explicit)

Reply to "Conflict around family size"

Subject:

Emoticons





More smilies

Text Color: Font: Close Marks

[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]OP here - it's more accurate to say that DH is the one who hoped I would change my mind.   I was clear before marriage that I wanted at least two children.   He was a maybe.   I made it clear to him that I would not marry him if he only wanted one.   I would have rather co-parented separately than committed myself to him and a small family.  [/quote]

So you guys intentionally got pregnant and then you tell him that you didn't want to marry him unless he gave you more than one child. Why didn't you discuss that with him before you got pregnant. It was a pretty crappy thing to do to get pregnant and then tell him the only way you would marry him is if he gave you more than one baby. He would have looked like a complete ass if he chose not to marry you after you were already pregnant. It sounds like up until now it's been your way or the highway and when he is actually putting his foot down and saying he doesn't want something you are threatening to divorce him?!?!? What about the kid you already have? My parents divorced because my dad was a drunk. If my mom ever told me she broke up the family because he wouldn't give her another kid I think I'd be pretty upset.   [/quote]

I generally don't like posts that are like, "what the hell were you thinking?" but this is pretty spot on.  By the time you had the discussion, you had already intentionally conceived a child, and he didn't really have the option to say no. You were already carrying your kid. Intentionally getting pregnant and then saying, "BTW I will not marry you - and you will not have daily access to your child -- unless you agree to have more kids" doesn't put him in a meaningful position to agree that he does want more kids.  If I were him, I would have done the exact same thing - married you, hoped I changed my mind, and then just dealt with the fallout if I didn't.  At least he's now had a chance to be part of his kid's everyday life.[/quote]

Options

	Disable HTML in this message
	Disable BB Code in this message
	Disable smilies in this message

Review message

Search Recent Topics Hottest Topics