Reply to If you are one who does NOT want to create a sense of superiority in your AAP accepted child

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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]What is stupid is to tell your child he is smart.  Would you tell a borderline child he is dumb?  Of course not.  We'd say to ANY child that he/she is smart to provide encouragement.  Therefore when you say your kid got in because he thinks different, learns faster, is smarter, etc. it sets this boundary up of the haves and the have nots.  So no, I'm not telling my child she is &quot;in&quot; because she is smart.  I'm not using words 'smart,' 'learns faster,' 'needs more challenging work,' etc.  I'm using words like, &quot;the school is trying to consolidate things for third grade to streamline classes.  Pulling kids in and out won't work as well so I think they are just doing some classes with no pull outs.  Period.  That's it.  If she comes home and says this is for the 'smart kids' per your kid, I'm going to tell my kid your kid is mistaken because obviously we know kids not in her class who are smart.
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I don't tell my children they're in AAP because they're smart because research shows that telling children they're smart tends to backfire and lead to children who do less than they could because they're afraid they might reveal themselves as not smart.

However. I do tell them it looks

One of my children loves lacrosse but he's mediocre at it. He has friends who're great. He has observed they're great. When he was little (&lt;9) and he asked me how good a player he was, I'd ask him what he thought. As he got older, I was honest with him, and I told him areas he was competent at and areas that he struggled with. Why would I lie to him? Especially at ages where he's beginning to see how effort can result in improvements that can results in him being a better player? There are some areas where he might always be at a disadvantage, such as his height. We're honest about that too. Just because &quot;the good lacrosse&quot; kids play on a particular team does not mean that there aren't other good lacrosse kids playing elsewhere. [/quote]

So those not in AAP don't enjoy school, don't employ creative problem solving strategies, and don't continue working at problems even when they're frustrated?  Wow, poor things.  [/quote]

What is your problem? She's not building an airtight case in a courtroom, she's offering an explanation that works for her son.

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The problem is that this is what divides the schools and kids.  My kid is the same kid that she was before the AAP letter arrived.  The letter didn't create or confirm anything else about her.  I resent you telling your kids something else which my kid and other kids hear.  My kid comes home and says your kid said AAP is for the smart kids I'm telling her your kid is mistaken and there are plenty of smart kids not in AAP.[/quote]

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