Reply to Did you drive you Middle Schooler in to school today?

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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]Here's something we are grateful we learned from other experienced parents of teens:  whenever teens call and say "mom/dad, can you please come pick me up?" we agree that we will.  Sure, it's intended for when teens find themselves in more precarious situations, but I would have encouraged you to say "yes" to their request from the coffee shop.  (Weren't they admitting they made a mistake?)  Under no circumstances would I respond: "I'm gonna call the truant officer on you."  WTH??  [/quote]

+1.  Parent of 4 teens here.  I would urge OP to look at the big picture.  In essence, what you are telling them is "You made a bad decision - YOU deal with it."  No problem there - generally, I am a "life lesson and "tough love" kind of girl.  But you need to emphasize to them that it was good that they called you and that was a good decision after a bad one.  Here's why.  [b]Your kids are going to want to hang out and go to parties and such.  They may even make bad decisions - all teens do.  But you still want them to call you if they get in over their heads.  For example, your DD says she is spending a night at a friend's.  They sneak out and go to a party.  Things get out of hand and DD feels unsafe or just that she needs to get the hell out of there.  You want her to feel that she can call you....right? [/b]  IMO, there was no real problem with how OP handled this specific situation (although I would have driven them had I been home).  However, I do think that she needs to reinforce the notion that they should call if they find themselves in a difficult situation that they do not feel they can handle.  [/quote]

OP here. Very good points in your post--thanks for the perspective.  I do want them to always feel that they can call after a bad decision. I'll reinforce this with them when they get home. Thanks everyone--for not making me feel like an even worse parent than I did at that moment. This stuff is complicated.[/quote]

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