Reply to I have no desire to be my grandchild's daycare

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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]OP here. As I said earlier, it was something that crossed my mind.

I absolutely want to be part of my grandkids' lives deeply, but I don't want to be the full-time care for 3-5 years, and part-time after that. But if my kids NEED me to be that care for GC's then I will help however I can.

Just not my hoped-for situation.

That may sound heartless and it really is putting the cart before the horse, as my OP opened. Don't we all put ourselves in imagined scenarios from time to time and wonder how we'd feel?[/quote]

I know that there are some grandparents that provide childcare for their kids but our parents aren't those people.  My mom is still working and even if she wasn't she has a lot of outside interests and DH's parents live elsewhere but they see the kids pretty regularly.  I wasn't that close to my grandparents, we barely saw them, and when we did it was with lots of cousins around.  I love that my husband's family and my mom to some extent are in a position to do things with the kids.  My kids have these memories and these experiences that we as parents are sometimes too much on the rat wheel of life to want to plan or do.  For example my husband's family will research fun things to do with the kids like take them to the County Fair or they have gone to see a show on Broadway with the kids. The kids get to not only spend time with the grandparents, but it goes beyond asking about school to really interacting with them and building memories together and having someone's undivided attention.

I have a lot of friends that live in the same area as their parents.  I think the finances (working or retired) of the parents, health of the parents, if both parents are together (easier running after kids and getting them out of the house when there is a second set of hands to help), how many kids and their age  (having your 60-70 year old parent running after two toddlers under the age of 3  full-time is a lot), distance (is your parent 10 minutes away or 30 in non-rush hour traffic) as well as the desire of the parent to watch toddlers play into if a parent provides childcare.  Overall, I can't think of anyone that has their parents watch two kids full-time in lieu of daycares unless the parent lives with them.  If anything it is two-three days a week.  Others have parents help out in a pinch, like sick kids and snow days. For others, it may be for date night and for the truly lucky parents the grandparents take the kids overnight so parents get to sleep in among other things. If you raised your kids so they expect that their kids are their responsibility, anything you do to help should be appreciated and there isn't an expectation of childcare/help.[/quote]

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