Reply to Will DW's libido ever return post-infant years?

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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote]Seriously! Have you though about doing more chores OP?[/quote][/quote]

OP here.  Yeah, I have tried "choreplay" but choreplay doesn't actually ramp up the libido.  It may get a thank-you BJ.  That's nice and all but not what I am concerned about.  [b]I am more interested in whether DW will regain her urge to have sex because she is, you know, actually desiring her husband[/b] as opposed to feeling like she should do something to be nice.[/quote]

Here's the thing:  She doesn't control that.  She really doesn't.  So if she has sex to be nice (and not because she desires it - she doesn't), that's not enough either?  You need for her to both have sex and *want* to have sex, just having sex is not enough for you?  Even though she has no control over her lack of libido?[/quote]

NP here:  Ah, but there's the rub.  It sounds like you've never experienced the kind of disengaged duty sex that often happens in those circumstances.  It can be a terribly depressing experience.  A woman may not be able to control her libido, but, similarly, a man often can't control being distressed about having committed himself to sexual exclusiveness with a partner who has lost interest in sex, either in general or as to him specifically.  [b]There may not be anyone to blame, but there aren't any easy answers either[/b].  [/quote]

PP you quoted here.  I agree 100%.  No one is to blame.  And yet, somehow, the wife gets the blame (at least, that is how it seems to me, reading here).  I think that's why so many women post here about this topic in angry ways - even those who do have regular sex, despite no libido and being bone-tired, feel that no matter what they do, it is insufficient.

Sometimes I think nature (or God, or whatever) either planned badly, or plays nasty tricks on humans.

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