Reply to Back me up on being the mean, mean mommy

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[quote=Anonymous]OP, I am one of the folks who called out hoarding before you did.  Hoarding is a mental illness in and of itself.  If your daughter wants to keep trash, can't throw things away, cries at the thought (and I doubt those tears are fake)...that's classic hoarding behavior.  She's facing a condition that she can't handle on her own.

There's one really good book in the popular literature by one of the few researchers of hoarding, and it has a chapter on hoarding in children: http://www.amazon.com/Stuff-Compulsive-Hoarding-Meaning-Things/dp/0547422555

And the Behavior Therapy Center of Greater Washington treats hoarders, including children: http://behaviortherapycenter.com

I've been going to the Center myself not because I suffer from hoarding, but because I have a relative who does who hit a crisis point this winter.  We can't make him get treatment, but you're a parent.  You have authority right now.  Hoarders don't tend to seek treatment because they deny that they have any kind of problem.  That's part of the illness.

You have one good window of time to help your daughter, and that time is now.  Something's up with her...hoarding, ADHD, anxiety, some combination...find out what it is and get her treatment before it gets worse, before she's a struggling young adult, while the only relationship it's really hurting is with her parents.

This isn't a discipline problem, it's a mental health problem, and you can't discipline away mental health issues.  I've seen where hoarding can take a person, and it's heart-breaking.  It's worth checking out your daughter's mental health to see what you can do.

Good luck, and I'm sorry this is hitting your family.
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