Reply to My friend tried to start an affair with my husband

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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]
OP here - yes, she spent a lot of time with us because of ME.  I invited her to do things, I chatted with her at the playground when we were there, I had her over for movies and wine (husband wasn't involved in any evening activities we planned together). She was MY friend.  Up until the weekend when I was really sick in bed, their actual contact was pretty minimal.  My husband is incredibly kind and probably the nicest, most honest person I've ever known.  He's the guy who always does the honorable thing, regardless of whether anyone is looking.  He's also wonderful with our children, and by extension other children that are playing with our children.  So he was of course kind to her DD.  She is familiar with our family and knows how much I valued my marriage, husband and family because we talked about it.  She knows both our children and had to have been aware of the impact an affair could have on both of them, and she just didn't care.

It seems so off base to me that you think that she did nothing wrong.  Why do you think she revealed her feelings for him?  I can't imagine any other reason than that she was letting him know that she was interested in starting a romantic relationship with him.  It was only after he rejected her that she said anything about not being able to spend time around him.  If she was just trying to explain her departure from a friendship, her discussion should have been with me - Primarily I was her friend, not my husband.  So how is that not so wrong?  It is such a massive betrayal.  Further, when I confronted her she spouted some bs about not believing in marriage and how it was a unnatural societal construct.  She also stated that she would be interested in any man that was decent and nice to her - and she used the word "interested" which makes it pretty clear that she wanted more than just getting this off her chest.

Our girls that are friends aren't even 2 years old yet, so I'm pretty sure they'll be just fine.  And maybe she feels better being unburdened by sharing this, but she selfishly has just managed to burden and hurt other people with it.  You cannot help it if you get a crush on someone, but you can help how you behave.  She should have behaved like an adult and kept this to herself.  [/quote]

You know, I just want to say OP - congrats on being sane in a difficult situation and not reacting like some of these looneybins around here.[/quote]

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