Reply to If you decided your husband was no longer "winner" material, would you divorce him?

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Reply to "If you decided your husband was no longer "winner" material, would you divorce him?"

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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]This happened to me, the morphing of a 'winner' into a beta that had setback after setback.   Over the course of 15 years or so.

I was prepared to stick it out, come whatever may, because I actually believed in the vows I took.   Call me old-fashioned. Also, a change in health status seemed to play a part, and I felt bad for him.  Still, it was really hard to watch a C-level guy with so. much. potential. slip into a professional near-failure.  But I kept silent and was supportive, helpful, and tried to be kind.

Here's the weird part:  he turned on ME.  Everything that happened to him, it turns out, was my fault.  I wasn't an enthusiastic enough sex partner.  I didn't spend enough time on my appearance.  I didn't contribute enough to the HHI.  I was "lazy." I was a hick.  I was pedantic.  I was negative.  I was fat.  I was entitled.  My family was stupid and fat and entitled.

So, we went our separate ways.   My compassion and support is completely gone, as you might suspect.[/quote]See, I think there's a problem with the way the question is phrased.  There was obviously something else going on with your husband in addition to not being successful professionally.  If it's only a matter of my dh not making partner but still working hard and doing his share to support the family both financially and emotionally, it would be absurd to divorce him.  To do that would only reveal how shallow and money-grubbing I am.  But if there is something else going on like addiction or a nasty blaming personality that leads a person to do badly professionally, that's another matter altogether.  Sounds like your husband was a real jerk, pp.  Sorry you had to go through that.[/quote]

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