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[quote=Anonymous]I think all of you find a few people who talk, and make the extreme accusation that all FA goes to those upper middle class families. I have been at private for 4 years and have yet to have anyone ever mention FA status of themselves or rumor anyone else.  I can't imagine it makes the rounds in a circle of gossip some of you describe.

FA goes from 5-95% at most schools with 25-50% being the norm.  Schools need economic and race diversity.  They like acquiring kids that are breakout stars, athletic and academically smart.  Legacy and rich kids aren't going to cover that.  Maybe they could supply a good Lacrosse, tennis or swimming team but that is it.  Many sports like track, softball, basketball, soccer are not played by the rich kids so much. Some pampered kids are not always the brightest either.  So I love that the school my child goes to is diverse in color, religion, culture and economics.  No one feels like an outcast.

We do receive partial FA - 33% for one child to go to private.  My other goes to public.  We live in a middle-class neighborhood and are still married.  We work hard but we own a business that has been getting slaughtered the past 5 years.  We are slowly climbing out of it and I took a part time job for extra money.  My husband had to pull from his 401K to keep the business alive. We lowered our incomes and had to let go of a few employees too.  We work our butts off.  We aren't poor and we don't announce our financial troubles to the world so I am not sure what people think of us.  We don't have new cars but they aren't 20yr old clunkers, none of us ever buy designer clothes, handbags, shoes but I shop smart so we don't wear rags.  We do try and take a family vacation once a year and it usually only 4 days at the beach or Williamsburg because we can't stay away from the business for long. We also give our kids one activity a season to sign up for outside of school.

So what I am trying to say is, don't judge a book by it's cover.  It is obvious that we are not rich and it is obvious we are not scraping by on pennies.  But the 33% allows my daughter to attend a school we could not otherwise afford.  Sure we could stop our 1 long beach weekend and one sport activity for each kid and probably get by only getting 25% but we appreciate getting that little extra to help us sustain normalcy for our son and daughter.

I can tell you this.  My daughter contributes to her school.  She is in the highest of math classes, gets straight A's, is in a sport every season and also 2 clubs. We go to every event we can.  I help with teacher appreciation every year. My daughter donates part of her babysitting money back to the school's FA and gives it one lump sum in the Fall, last 2 years it was $100.  Her idea, not mine.  We donate $250 each year to get the percentage of participation higher.

So maybe I look like one of those people you would complain about.  We own a business, we live in a middle class neighborhood, no single mom.  We drive a decent minivan.  We attend events and try to save up for things at the school that may cost.  We don't receive any FA for field trips or out of school activities.   But I would not change the money we do spend for her to go there.  The changes in her confidence, personality, happiness is worth it.  She loves her school and there is no doubt once we get a little more income, we will contribute back. Maybe even go to less or no FA. And there is no doubt she will be off to college and leading a good life, she will give back as well.  That is where a lot of endowment comes you know.  Families that have left and are appreciative of what they received and give back AFTER their kids leave.  And then graduates themselves.

So please think twice before deciding who, in your opinion, gets the FA.  I am sure there are some that get it that may seem like they shouldn't. No system in the world works perfectly and unfortunately everyone in the world aren't super honest.  Such is life. I think the schools try their best with what is presented to them.  The schools just can't give out 95% tuition to all super poor people.  The schools would be all rich, all poor - nothing in-between.  There are some kids from struggling middle class families that deserve to be there too.  That work hard to pay the additional amount that isn't covered with FA. I feel guilty all the time and even worse when the fund phone calls come in.  It is not because we could afford the whole tuition but because we could send our daughter to public and not take that 33%.  I know where it comes from and I am grateful.  Public sucked for my daughter.  5 years was 4 years too many.  My son is doing okay.  I would love for him to go to private too but financially it just wouldn't happen right now.

To the school that saw my daughter's drive and potential and offered us some FA, thank you!!! To those that contribute to the fund, thank you.  For those that don't judge, thank you.  Maybe my daughter will be donating in the future to help your grandkids go to a school if financial hardship hits you.  Never know.... [/quote]

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