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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]Thanks for the feedback:  is there a reason that you feel the need to be so utterly ugly in your response to what I offered as well-intentioned remarks?   What's melodramatic to you was really heartfelt from me.  I've been in situations where my parents -- years ago -- set up situations on which we couldn't follow through.  12 year olds are pretty emotional:  maybe I was channeling my 12 year old self.  Who knows?  What I do know is that your response is absolutely ugly and gratuitous at that.

[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]Dear OP, I am truly sorry this has happened to your family.  I can only tell you that you've created a bit of a 'what if' situation here and there's no easy way out -- if she doesn't accept the offer, you and she will wonder 'what if' along almost every way (college admissions, grades, learning opportunities, etc.).  If she goes and you make what will clearly be hard sacrifices, you and she and the rest of your family will bear a kind of resentment because of the things you won't be able to have due to the cost.

Having said that;
You're not a terrible person, but you also are clearly not fully in touch with what an independent school will cost  (and it only gets worse -- there are a lot of hidden costs, etc.).  If you are not prepared for this kind of sticker shock I don't think you'll find those other costs any easier to bear.  Tell her -- PROMISE HER -- that you will work with her to set aside a certain amount of what you would have spent on tuition so that when it comes to colleges, you and she will have a little more breathing room (I am assuming you will be assisting with tuition -- perhaps not, and I would understand, for not everyone can do so).

She has learned from this.  So have you.   I am sorry it comes at such a cost.

Good luck.[/quote]

[b]You are so melodramatic.  Lighten the fuck up.[/b] [/quote][/quote]

I didn't write the bolded above, but you did come across as pedantic and belaboring the obvious. You were also unnecessarily charitable to the OP, who casually presumed she could afford to send her child to private and made her jump through all the hoops, then told her she couldn't go after her daughter had made such a great effort. And is now telling us maybe she *can* go. Crazy-making.

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