Reply to "My Brother's Keeper" and at-risk kids... thoughts?

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Reply to ""My Brother's Keeper" and at-risk kids... thoughts?"

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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote]My parents were dirt poor and I have what I have because I worked my ass off to get it. I often worked 3 and 4 jobs at a time. It took me 10 years to pay off my college bills. It is wrong to assume I'm looking down on anyone because you don't know what I went through and what sacrifices I made - and it's an insult to suggest that somehow I was entitled or privileged and that everything just fell into my lap. As for "told they are worthless" - who exactly is telling any youth in Anacostia that? If they are being told they are worthless, it's their own community doing that. I certainly am not going around telling them that - they are indeed worth every bit as much as I am - all they need are the skills, they need to stay in school, become literate, learn their math, learn to become reliable and productive and to value each other first. They need to put in the hard work and make the same sacrifices I did.[/quote]

I had a stint teaching 3rd graders at a school in a housing project community.  And the message that I saw passed on to the kids there wasn't that they were worthless, it was that they shouldn't set their expectations too high. More accurately, that they'd be hurting themselves if they set any expectations at all.  The probabilities for girls pointed toward welfare, babies and a lot of time in family court; for boys it was death and incarceration.  Circle time was very often filled with stories of gunfire outside bedroom windows, demonstrations of the way one should stand with their hands against the wall when the police raid a home at 3 am, and rumors about what would happen to the guys who killed so-and-so's big brother.  The primary thing that everyone in that community had to deal with was fear.  Fear of thugs [i]and[/i] the police, fear of getting killed, fear of a loved one getting killed or jailed, and most important, fear of being seen as fearful.  The fights and brutality happened because the weak got crushed.  One girl, who lived with her mom and sister at a homeless shelter, developed an acerbic sense of humor to ward off the ruthless taunts and violence against her; she was very often followed after school and jumped by the other kids for having a smart mouth. These were 8-year-olds.  Really angry, stressed out, scared-to-death kids. They're often hungry, too.  Those free and reduced meals were practically inedible.  Education and getting a paycheck some day?  Last thing on their minds.  When I asked what they wanted to be when they grew up, all but three said they wanted to be a police officer (girls, too) "because the police can do anything they want."

So maybe it's not about having something handed to you; I think the PP was off the mark about that.  But if you worked your ass off to get where you are, you had to start with a belief that you could get there, and then get some knowledge of how.  That's what's missing for a lot of these kids.  There's not a lot of long-term thinking when you're just trying to survive today.  The will to push past obstacles isn't in everyone (I know some lazy ass, criminally-oriented, unprincipled kids from six-figure families); but those who have it should at least get a shot.  Communities and parents already hamstrung by those obstacles can't do it without the help of outside influence that can marshall the resources.  [/quote]

I have worked in a similar school and also at a school where 80% of students were immigrants from other countries (or their parents were immigrants)

It is amazing to see the difference in behavior between the two populations.  Even though the poverty levels are similar on paper there is an enormous difference in student behavior.  I chalk that up to having stable families and a belief that their families are working hard for a better future for their children.

We can talk a good game about blaming ghetto culture and poverty cultuer but what can we do to change that other than victim blaming? (posting on my phone so forgive me for errors)[/quote]

The "crush or be crushed" dynamic mentioned by a PP is what needs to be harnessed and changed.  It needs to turn from frustration and aggression toward the school, toward the teachers, and other students into an understanding that survival and success in the bigger picture isn't just me versus you fighting day by day one on one in the schoolyard, the real fight is me versus my own future, and that the best weapon isn't a fist, the best weapon is knowledge.  That takes serious intervention, mentoring and engagement from people who have been there and done that.  Kids see the stark reality of a future where they end up a pregnant teen, or end up behind bars, or dead before their time and they have to know that that's the real fight of their lives - whether to just give in and accept that shitty future, or to know that there are options, and that they can fight it with the weapons that schools, libraries and others are trying to put out there for them.[/quote]

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