Reply to MIL Won't stop kissing newborn

Forum Index » Family Relationships

Reply to "MIL Won't stop kissing newborn"

Subject:

Emoticons





More smilies

Text Color: Font: Close Marks

[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]I think discouraging people from kissing face and hands is fine (though difficult to resist!). I think what's bizarre is then restricting a close family's interaction with the baby simply because s/he can't follow that rule. If that were always the case, [b]a lot of older siblings wouldn't be allowed to see their younger siblings![/b][/quote]

This is a really, really good point.  OP, as a mom of a 3 yr old expecting my second any day now, the best decision I made was to try and treat my first-born like a second-born wherever practical.  That is, if it's a level of "perfection" I couldn't possibly achieve with a second-born, and yet the second-born will be just fine, then it's more trouble than it's worth.  As a result, I could put my DD down for 5 minutes to cry while I took a shower, didn't need to change her onesie every single time it got a speck on it, and didn't spend my time hermetically sealing her off from the world in the first few months.  It really, really helped with my sanity.[/quote] I agree with you, though I'm not sure if you understood my point. I just meant that older siblings are often overly close to the babies, kissing and cuddling their faces and breathing on them. Of course as a mom you tell them what's okay and what's not, but you don't then decide, "Okay, that's it, you're not allowed to see your baby sis anymore!"[/quote]

No, no, I get your point entirely -- I was expanding on it.  It's basically impossible to keep an older sibling away from a newborn, so if that level of exposure is ok for the second kid, why isn't it ok for the first kid?  And so on from there.[/quote]

I disagree with this.  A parent can reprimand another sibling in the way she can't a MIL.  I remember distinctly being reprimanded because I tried to touch my baby brother's eyelid (it looked so soft) while his eyes were closed.  My mother was really stern about no hands on the baby's face.

I didn't excessively kiss my baby brother on his face.  My mother was very clear with me about germs.  She said I could kiss the top of his head.  I could touch his feet.   And if I wanted to hold him, I had to abide by those rules.

I don't think any parent lets siblings do whatever they want to a newborn.  And very young siblings (toddler aged) aren't usually allowed alone with a newborn.  So if anything, your analogy kind of proves OP's point... if a sibling were excessively kissing a newborn near the mouth, the parent would probably tell him/her to stop and instead kiss the top of the head.  Or the parent wouldn't keep the newborn in constant reach of the toddler.

Newborns need to be held.  But there have been plenty of threads here about MILs who "hog" the baby, won't put the baby down or give the baby up.  I think this excessive kissing falls into that category.  I find it a little needy.  But the kissing on the face thing, especially with a newborn, is a germ issue.  People have lots of germs in their mouth.  And just because they aren't showing signs of a sickness doesn't mean they don't have things like strep, et cetera.

OP, I would try to say gently, "Oh, it's better to kiss the baby's head," the next time she does it.  She how she responds.  It's a way of trying to modify her behavior without being bossy.

But yeah, OP, it would weird me out.  By I also had a lot of relatives who were overly touchy/huggy/kissy with me when I was a toddler, and I hated it.  To this day, I'm not a very affectionate person, and I think it's actually directly related to feeling like I had no say in people hugging/kissing me.  I'm not saying it's bad to give hugs and kisses.  I'm talking about people who don't know when to let up and think just because your little, you either don't mind or it doesn't matter if you mind.[/quote]

Options

	Disable HTML in this message
	Disable BB Code in this message
	Disable smilies in this message

Review message

Search Recent Topics Hottest Topics