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[quote=Anonymous]Holton tuition for 2014/2015:  Lower School:  $35,155.   Middle/Upper: $36,875.

I'm going to be totally honest.  I have a daughter at Holton and two sons at another, similarly priced, private school.   We pay a manageable portion and have gotten help for the rest from grandparents.  I know how annoying and elitist I would probably find this if I weren't in this position, so I am glad I'm in an anonymous forum!  We are very aware what a privilege this is.  I should mention, it's not uncommon, grandparents helping with tuition.  It does not count against gift limits, so the recipients (that's us) don't have to pay taxes.  It isn't like a charitable gift, given from pre-tax earnings, so our parents don't benefit in that way, but it is a great way to help grandchildren.

My parents went to private schools. I went to both public and private.  I sort of come from an ethos that says "what better thing is there to spend money on?"  At least in part because of the help we've gotten, and because private school was kind of a reflexive decision, I haven't given it as much thought as I might if we had to agonize over it.  That said, the grandparental help is never guaranteed, so we have at least had to CONSIDER what we would do otherwise.  Our choice has been to live in Montgomery County.  We are in a small house and we don't have a big mortgage.  We just aren't that profligate.  If we had no help, I would definitely have to go back to work full-time, and that would be a big decision for us.  (I am self-employed, work part time).  It would mean a lot more pinching pennies.  I might not even be able to make it work, but suppose I could - would I go back to work to pay tuitions?

I'm not sure, but I think I might.  It might be because while I went to public schools through fifth grade, my kids have not been in MoCo public school, so it's an unknown.  I would definitely take a much closer look at our local public schools, but I think it would be hard to pull them out of privates.

What are we getting for our money?  It's an excellent question, and I can understand why some would say it's not worth it, but here are a few things we really like:

First of all, whoever wrote about the 5 - 8 page report cards was not kidding.  The level of evaluation and personal attention is amazing.  My middle child, boy, would probably do fine anywhere - he's very self-motivated, and if we had to send one of the three to public, he would thrive.  (Though it gets a little tricky if said child doesn't want that, LOL ; "Hey, bud, thanks for all your hard work.  Mind taking a hit for the team?")  But if you had one child who is going to ferret out the best opportunities in the public school, and really navigate that (I kind of suck at that, by the way, as a parent), then having that child in public makes more sense.  My oldest and youngest are really  benefitting from the attention.  My youngest (son) may yet come around, but my daughter is kind of bright but social, always looking out for whatever is most fun, sort of a reluctant student.  Holton is great for her.  She's compliant enough not to frustrate them, but benefits from their saying, "come on, try a little harder..."  (There are kids at Holton, btw, who are really competitive academically, which is super stressful for some girls. She's just not one of them).  She is getting a great education, almost against her will. ;-)  She's actually doing pretty well!  I think she might be the perfect Holton girl - smart enough, not neurotic, likes the sports and activities, etc.  But I digress..

Second, my kids aren't the best athletes, so the smaller pond is good, especially for the boys.  I think it's great they get to make the team, and while they certainly aren't going to go to college for any one sport, I think they better chance of enjoying club or intramural sports in college as a result of the high school experience - I know I did.  They most decidedly would not be on the teams if they were at our local public school, and the fact that sports are tied in to school makes it a lot easier than carting them around to league sports (though I can imagine someone worried over tuition would not find that very compelling!  ;-)

Third, someone mentioned writing.  The thing all the alums of these schools seems to note is that they were so much more comfortable writing than their college classmates.  This hastily and probably poorly written post notwithstanding, I have found that skill has stood me in incredibly good stead, and has actually made it possible for me to work independently.  Friends who've gone from private to public have been very happy overall, but this is one thing several have found lacking.  I am sure there are pockets of great writing instruction in MoCo, but my sense is that even the worst student at a Holton, for example, will come out a really strong writer.

I'm not a STEM type, so I can't speak to any differences there, but others might be able to.

I was a little like my daughter.  Not necessarily as social, bright enough but not that motivated.  I went to a school (not here) similar to DC privates, and I benefit to this day from the amazing education, even though I was far from the best student.

Perhaps one day I might have to decide if it was worth it, and maybe I wouldn't.  I suspect there are a lot of parents with kids in private school who are like me.  By dint of some privilege or blessing, we are able to afford this choice, and might not therefore have given it as much thought.  That doesn't mean that it isn't a great, valid choice.  it just means that public school parents who see us as underthinking wouldn't be wrong.

PS - in our case, this money isn't fungible.  The grandparents wouldn't stick it into a fund, so there isn't an argument, which someone  could also make, that there are so many more enriching things we could be doing with it - that's always another good argument against private school.

PPS... just reread and am not sure this post adds anything at all worthwhile to the discussion.  oh well.

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