Reply to I want to fall out of love with a married man.

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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]"Tell his wife"?  For what?  That is the dumbest advice I've ever heard.

Just move on with your life.  No need to destroy his or hers.[/quote]

The wife's life has already been destroyed - the destroying actions have already happened. Telling her isn't destroying her life, it is just showing her basic respect so that she isn't in the dark about what is happening in her own marriage. To let her make informed decisions about her own personal health and get tested for sexually transmitted diseases?

I have never understood the whole 'don't tell'. If your parent died would you want your family to not tell you because telling you would be hurtful. Should they just deal with the death and funeral behind your back and lie to you so that they don't hurt you with the truth. The death has already happened - Would you really rather not know and just go on blissfully while everyone else knows and are making decisions about your life that you aren't apart of? Would you really feel that someone's intentions in telling you about a family death were to hurt you and destroy your life - and you would get angry at them, preferring to they just kept lying to you to cover to keep you in the dark?

Not telling is just cowardly.

[/quote]

Oh please, that's ridiculous. Telling her IS destroying her life. It is also an obvious act of selfishness - i.e., it's about YOU not about her.

If you are the "other woman" you don't even get to talk about "showing her basic respect". You've already totally failed on that front. What you should do now is just go away.

If my parent died, I wouldn't want the murderer to be the one who told me about it, since very obviously the purity of that person's motives in telling me would be highly suspect to say the least.[/quote]

I don't think it has to be the other woman that tells her. Someone needs to tell her. It is weird you think that telling someone what is going on in their own life would be selfish - I know many people who have found out from others that their spouses were having affairs and they have been very grateful - not angry that the teller did something selfish.

Would you not want anyone to tell you though about your parent's death - you would prefer to be in the dark because it is only the telling you about the death that would be hurtful. It isn't hurtful that your parent died if you don't know about it.

Her husband is sleeping with other women, risking her health and making her live a lie. You are really a-okay with that? Think it is a good thing? You really think the only bad thing is for her to find out and that as long as she doesn't know then all is good?[/quote]

Not that I plan on telling her, but who would I have tell her? We don't have friends in common. She is 10 yrs old than me.[/quote]

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