Reply to Are foreign service benefits excessive or reasonable given the sacrifices?

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[quote=Anonymous]Another FSO here. Single mom at a hardship post. I think the benefits are great, but the cons for us are different than some.

Pros for us:

-Renting my place out and having my housing covered!

-Language immersion for DC. We don't attend the international schools recommended by post. DC is the foreigner at school and her friends are primarily local kids (middle to upper middle class families).

-I primarily hang with dual cits or foreign nationals and have a ball doing so. I feel like if we were going to stick with Americans, we could've stayed in DC. My perspective has changed a lot. The biggest surprise is how much more proud I am to be an American woman. I don't mind paying taxes because our roads are paved, the police are responsive, and  I had options other than marrying some old guy in order to get ahead

-Opportunity to pay off debt

-I have met Heads of State formally (official receptions) and informally (at a rooftop party, ha!)

Cons:

-Dating...It's rough when most local men make less than $200 month. I never had a problem dating in the US.

-Privacy can be a challenge. Some people love living on an Embasy compound. As a single woman, it wouldn't work for me at all.

-I pay more for childcare in the field. At home, my ex and I stagger our schedules and don't need before/aftercare. I also have family around to babysit if needed. I currently pay for a FT nanny and PT nanny as back up for the required "fun" I have to participate in (the cocktails some love that are quite boring to me), plus a driver, a car solely for DC's transport, language classes, etc.

-Flight costs to visit family. It's important that DC knows our family and spends quality time with her dad. 1 trip a year isn't enough so I spend money here.

-Lack of green space/kid friendly areas. I never thought I would need a driver and separate car for my kid. In a former life, I would've considered it snobby. Here, it's the only way my kid is able to have a life. We are not able to take public transit of any kind and kidnappings used to be a major issue. Also, since we don't use the Embassy school, we're on our own for transportation.

DC still has friends in the US and spends summers (and holidays/breaks) there. We will probably spend 40% of grade school years abroad, so I doubt fitting in at home will be an issue. I am still happy I joined. I believe that singles/married folks without kids can make a huge sum of money abroad. Those of us with kids as well, but at a slower pace. We still feel at home in DC and have lots of family and friends to keep us busy when we're in town. I can't imagine us feeling awkward once we move back in 2 years.
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