Reply to I cringe when DH touches me

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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]I know this is a really old post, but just wanted to say I felt the same as you OP, and found out that 1. DH was gay, and 2. I was suffering from depression.  Just throwing it out there.  I thought the problem was me the whole time, but turns out his touch was uncomfortable because it wasn't natural to him and I picked up on it.  [/quote]

Pp, I know this is old but this sounds like my dh. [b]Not confident in the way he touches me, very low libido[/b], etc. were there any signs at all he was gay? How did you ultimately find out?[/quote]

Be a little careful with this analysis, being tentative and reluctant to initiate could result from a toxic mixture of: a) respecting your wife; and b) having her reject you once too often. Maybe a wife goes through a period of hormonal imbalance or other libido killing period (pregnancy + nursing + chasing around toddlers usually). During this time, the guy initiated fairly frequently and in his normal confident way, but hit a stone wall. He gradually internalized the message that his wife did not like having sex with him. Trying not to be disrespectful to her wants and needs, he initiates tentatively because it's her body, and if she doesn't want him sexually, then it's not for him to force the issue. Having been rejected with some consistency, he learns not to initiate very often because rejection is confirmation (at a deep, emotional level if not at the rational level) that his wife doesn't really love him that much and certainly doesn't find him appealing as a man. [/quote]

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