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[quote=Anonymous]20:17 again- we cross-posted, OP. Your posts are helping me! I can relate to everything you say about trying to make the sex better, losing respect for him and becoming physically repulsed, asking for behavior that I can respect and trust to try to rebuild love, feeling guilty that he will be alone if I leave him, etc.

I have come to the conclusion that it can't work. We are in marriage counseling and things are getting worse, because as I say he blames everything on me and how I never loved him. And he has a point- it's hard to feel rejected, even nicely, all the time. He clearly had sexual dysfunction, spending beyond his means, and truthfulness problems his whole life, way before we met, but our dynamic made his issues much worse. It made my issues worse too- guilt over hurting someone's feelings, accepting unacceptable behavior, not believing I am worthy of a truly good man and of real love and happiness, etc.

My turning point came when I was holding my daughter one day and looked at her beautiful, trusting, innocent face and thought about her grown up and in a marriage just like mine, and I burst into tears. She deserves so much more, deserves to be adored and sexually fulfilled and respected and able to express her love, and I am modeling the opposite for her to grow up with. I knew then that I had to divorce, even though it will be a nightmare for a while.

Good luck OP and I wish you strength. Keep up your individual counseling.[/quote]

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