Reply to Another divorce or stick it out plea for advice

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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]OP, I would recommend a sex therapist or someone who knows about these issues for you individually. It sounds like there might have been some trauma or abuse in your past?  Good luck to you. [/quote]

Did you even read the thread?  She's already seen a sex therapist, individual counselor and relationship counseler, been checked out medically and a whole lot of other things.  Now is the time to put into practice what she's learned through all this.[/quote]

Did you read this part, sounds like she is not really learning much through therapy.Her problem is not that they aren't "sexually compatible" (that explanation works if you date a few months, don't feel a spark and move on), but that she forced herself to have sex, didn't want to ever really have sex with him, etc. Honestly, she has been digging that deep and is still blaming her husband. I would probably consider divorce too, but I would get to the bottom of my issues with sex and intimacy.

"We didn't plan for DC and never, ever had spark - I just closed my eyes or drank too much to get through sex. That's what my mom and sisters did. I actively avoided sex on wedding night and honeymoon and in general. I only was intimate with him because I didn't want to deny him and was blaming myself for being sexually dysfunctional. Therapists are telling me we're just sexually incompatible and it's only now I'm realizing they're right and I should have factored this into the major freaking life decision of marriage and parenthood."

She is blaming him and saying she thought she was sexually dysfunctional. She was/is. And that is fine, there is a way out of that. Her sexual dysfunction isn't from not enjoying sex with him, it is from forcing herself to do for many years. That is not his fault.

I think OP sounds awesome. She has a lot of insight about herself and she is doing all the right things. But her issues are her issues and have little to do with "compatibility."[/quote]

Good god!  Did you not read the part where she had great sex with two previous boyfriends?  You may think she's blaming her DH but that's not what I'm reading.  She's repeatedly stated what a nice guy he is (despite his lying, etc.).  Acknowledging sex is awful because you're not attracted to someone doesn't mean you're blaming that person![/quote]

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