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[quote=Anonymous]OP, good ideas already about having a limited-edition pity party and best of all about seeking therapy to focus on this issue.

I'd like to add, as a happy parent of one: I know it's early days yet and your child isn't even in the picture since you are still trying. But if you can manage to set the immediate emotion aside for a moment and try to look at the future, there are advantages to having one child. I've been able to volunteer at preschool and school in substantial ways, getting to know her teachers and friends better than I would have otherwise, and getting "plugged in" to her schools' cultures and how things work. I've been able to participate more in things like her extracurriculars as a leader and a volunteer etc. Doing these things helps all these organizations and schools but most importantly, it helps me see what her day to day life is like, to understand her better, and to see her interactions with others. I know parents of two or more who do these things too, but I also know many parents of two (and especially of more than two) who lament that they never have time to do this or that, to chaperone anything or help out with a recital or stick around to help out at a class event, etc. because they have to run off to chauffeur the other kid(s) etc.

Not dissing having more than one, just noting the fact that with one, you can have the ability to do more with your kid. That's not the same as doing things FOR a kid -- which is a mistake. I just know that some moms have said to me over the years that they would have loved to have been more able to do this or that at a child's school or in an activity, or to enroll in certain mom-and-me classes, but just could not because they were chasing a younger child or the activity wasn't appropriate for having a younger child tag along, or they had to juggle several kids' schedules.

This is all a long, long way off for you, I know, but if you are a person who would want to participate in those ways, consider that you will find it easier to do so without juggling and guilt if you have one child.[/quote]

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