Reply to Apparently I made my husband feel like shit

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[quote=Anonymous]OP, this situation sucks all around. I completely understand why you're upset about it.

I view your husband's reaction as a situation where he wanted you to comfort him and did not get that comfort. I think that given the magnitude of the news you got, his expectation of comfort was an unreasonable one. The only up side to this news is that taking care of it means it'll go away. As pertains to the ex, would it be possible to come to an agreement with her in advance where you and DH agree to take on the lien solo if she agrees to waive any right to profits from the sale? I completely understand the degree to which contentious money stuff can complicate a coparenting relationship (since I have similar issues from time to time, though not of the same financial magnitude), so I applaud trying to not rock that particular boat.

I agree that your husband should call the IRS to discuss repayment plans. They are usually pretty good about negotiating something, and that might be better in the long term than liquidating $30k+38% of your retirement funds. If you have to do that, though, please don't feel too awful about it. A woman I am really good friends with received bad tax advice a few years ago and currently owes the IRS about $75k for that mistake. She has no retirement account large enough to liquidate to clear the debt and is completely freaking out about how to handle it.[/quote]

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