Reply to Apparently I made my husband feel like shit

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[quote=Anonymous]Hey OP - it might be worthwhile to get some legal advice from a lawyer you pay yourself so you can understand all your options, like repayment plans w IRS etc. NOLO Press also does a fantastic series of self-help books, and they have a couple on tax issues that look helpful.

As for the marriage side - I think that dealing with stuff like this is one of the hardest challenges for your average marriage. It is so hard to stay unified in the face of shitty situations that you can't change. You somehow have to navigate your right to have and express your feelings, your legitimate anger, and the need to keep a positive relationship. The way I think about it, my reaction and the "wrong" I have suffered are two totally different things. It may be true that my DH screwed up big time, but that does not give me the right to beat him up over it endlessly. At the same time, he has to learn how to take your negative feelings and not ask you to stuff them down. But I feel for you - it is SO hard to stay close in the face of shitty events. But that is what makes the difference between a bad marriage and a good one!

So ... Although it seems counterintuitive, I would recommend you go home and give your DH a big hug, and go out for a nice dinner and some wine. Remember that you are a team.

As for you, I am super impressed at how level headed and fair you seem! The choice to help foster the coparenting relationship just says worlds about you, OP. I know this is sucky for you, but you should take pride in being an outstanding individual.[/quote]

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