Reply to What do you think about letting 17 yr old hang out alone in his room with his girlfriend?

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[quote=Anonymous]Wow, I suspect many of these posters have never had a 17 year-old child and are projecting their concerns about their children's future.

It is normal and healthy for 17 year-olds to have sex within a committed relationship.  I suspect that most of you in your heart of hearts agree with that.  You may think 18 is better but 17 is pretty close.  Honestly, it would be odd for 17 year olds in a long time relationship to not have sex.

So given that this is pretty much normal behavior, whats your goal here?  You want your DS to have a healthy attitude toward sex and respect for his girlfriend.  So talk to him about that.  He needs to know that "no means no."  And he needs to protect her from unwanted pregnancy and STDs.  You are much better able to have that kind of straightforward conversation if you are putting up an unrealistic "YOU WILL NOT HAVE SEX," message.

So if you are accepting that your DS will be having healthy, protected sex in a committed relationship, whats this idea that he has to sneak around to do it?  He is more likely to skip the condom if they are having to sneak around.  And what kind of message are you sending?  At the very least you are cutting yourself out of any kind of straightforward conversation on the subject.

I have a 17 year-old DAUGHTER and she and her boyfriend spend time alone in her bedroom, with the door closed.  She is going to college next year and is, in many aspects of her life, developing responsibility and my trust.  We have and continue to have conversations about protection, responsibility and love.  I have no worries about her becoming pregnant.[/quote]

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