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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote]If the OP were a woman the responses would be drastically different.[/quote]

Agree.  Have you read the WOH wife/SAH husband threads?  Yes, the gender difference is startling -- women recommend taking away DH's cell phone and punishing him financially as a way to induce him to get a job, even where the husband does the housework and child care.  You know, because it's the man's role to provide!

OP, it is pretty normal for a woman's priorities to shift unexpectedly after a child, but it sounds like you are weighed down by the stress of (also unexpectedly) being an sole provider.  Can you share that with her in a way that doesn't make her feel defensive?  I am the sole provider in our family, and my husband is a SAHD.  I grew up spending long hours in daycare and am a big believer in having one parent at home.  But the financial responsibility is stressful, and we talk about the weight of that responsibility and my fear that I am failing as a provider on a pretty consistent basis.

I think that what you suggest about downsizing is a good idea.  But this has to be approached as a team, and you could probably benefit from some counseling.
[/quote]

That's not gender induced. What all of those threads are about is one spouse wants to stay at home while the other spouse doesn't agree. Both spouses HAVE to agree to have one stay at home, otherwise one spouse is solely responsible for the financial well-being of the family, and that's not something anyone should have to do without their consent. If you really feel entitled to stay at home against your spouse's wishes, be prepared for a thread about you where your spouse is saying he or she resents you, because that's the only outcome of that situation. [/quote]

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