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[quote=Anonymous]OP - I'm a mom of a 14 year old and we have limitations.  I really hate the responses from the perfect parents who think they will have perfect teens, but appreciate the thoughtful ones you have received.  Here's my advice - not from a knowitall, but from a fellow-struggler.

First and foremost, treat the slamming as a separate problem.  He can be angry, and leave the room, retreat to his room without you following, but he can't slam doors (neither can you or DH).

I get it with the screen time.  I don't like who my son is when he has too much screen time.  I get the attraction of the games and of netflix, but I also know it is addictive, and vaguely unwholesome.  This is true for parents as well as kids.

Are your husband's expectations failing to keep pace with the changes in who your child is?  I think you and he need to have a talk since maybe your husband is undermining what's best for you and your kid.  I mean this most kindly, but your husband's distance from the day-to-day may mean he really doesn't "get" adolescence.

Also, I found that when we imposed the same rules on us, the house was a happier place for everyone.  We don't count schoolwork (his or DH) toward screen limits, and we do make exceptions, but generally not for PS DS XBOX or TV.  I would make exceptions for anything hobby based he wants to look up, read about, think about or do (i.e. photo editing).[/quote]

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