Reply to 26 and never had a boyfriend - what the hell is going on?

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[quote=Anonymous]I have a couple of friends who had this problem. It's not as uncommon as you fear, OP. Especially among people who, for whatever reason, are late bloomers with regard to love. It probably feels like when you look around all you see are couples, but I promise reality is more nuanced.

And if it's any comfort, my once-lovelorn friends are now paired off. (We're all in our ancient 30s.)

Approachability is key. You want to give off the vibe that you're open to talking and interacting with people, but not seem desperate. It can be a difficult line. That's why so many folks recommend volunteering or getting involved in activities - which is indeed good advice. If you're doing something positive that interests you, you're going to be in that upbeat, approachable zone by default...and if there happens to be single men around to see it, great.

Anything you can do to make more friends in general, do it. More friends mean more social activities, more "I know a guy..." scenarios, more parties to go to etc. etc.

Online dating is a mixed bag. You can't not try it here in 2013, and for those people for whom it works, it really works. But for those who strike out, it's a big time investment and a lot of discouragement. Keep plowing through it if you can. Try different sites.

One of my friends who had this problem is prettier and slimmer and smarter than me, she is totally the complete package. But I'd get all the attention when we went out together. Not because I'm some amazing beauty, but because I smile a lot. Men didn't assume I'd reject them right off the bat. It sounds so amazingly stupid and trivial, but it worked. My friend just gave off this "leave me alone" vibe even though she wanted to be approached. You might unwittingly be doing the same thing. Ultimately she met a guy in her MBA program, and having the schoolwork in common allowed her boyfriend to get to know her without the "do not approach" walls coming up. [/quote]

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